WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT AT BRISBANE POLY PEOPLE (BPP)
BPP is a Brisbane based unincorporated community group for all who are interested in polyamory, relationship anarchy, open relationships, and the varied ethical alternatives to monogamy. We strive for relationships built on consent, honesty and integrity.
BPP seeks to hold welcoming spaces for polyamorous, poly-curious and poly-friendly community connection, discussion and learning through face to face events (and sharing of resources). We do not offer online discussion forums, (these can be found elsewhere.)
We are a consent-based group and aspire to operate in a manner consistent with good polyamory practice, including communication of expectations.
These are a few guidelines for members wondering what to expect in our group.
Respect and inclusion: We ask all group members to accept each other’s right to live their lives as they choose, provided they do not prevent the autonomy of others. This includes respect for diversity in sexuality, gender expression, age, ability, racial and cultural background, lifestyle choices, relationship choices or any other perceived differences. You are welcome to your opinions but please express them respectfully and consider their potential impact on others, especially (but not limited to) those who experience marginalisation in other aspects of society.
Friendly and social: Some members are not looking for new partner/s and others, while open to new intimate connections, are highly selective. We want members to feel comfortable, without unwanted advances. Deeper connections sometimes occur between members, usually by people discovering their mutual compatibility as potential friends or partners through normal respectful social interaction. Many BPP members recommend OkCupid as a poly-friendly dating site/app.
Unsolicited messages: Do not message anyone without consent. If you would like to receive messages from members, you are invited to state so on your profile description. Unless someone has explicitly requested unsolicited messages on their profile, please assume such messages are unwelcome.
Personal contact and consent: Not everyone is comfortable with personal contact. Some people need to be in the right mood or be close friends with someone before being hugged or touched. If you would like to hug or touch someone, please ask and respect their response. You also have the right to say no if someone wants to touch you – even if you have consented to similar physical contact with them previously.
Confidentiality and privacy: Members have differing levels of dis/comfort about others knowing they are associated with a polyamory group, or sharing their personal information outside the group. Please be mindful not to identify members as having an interest in polyamory when you meet them in non-polyamorous contexts (whether face to face or on social media) without their consent. Similarly, if you want to repeat something shared with you, consider whether it is necessary. If you still want to share it, please seek permission and/or do not reveal any identifying information about the person you are talking about.
Meetup.com is a public website. Depending on your profile settings, group membership can be seen by other Meetup members or through search engines. If you are concerned about being identified as part of Brisbane Poly People on the Meetup.com site you are encouraged to use only your first name or a pseudonym, a non-identifying profile picture and avoid logging in via Facebook.
Emotional safety and responsibility: It is the intention of the organisers that we all create a safe and supportive space for each other. We ask that if something is said at the group that you find offensive or emotionally unsafe, whether directed at you or someone else, that you take responsibility for your own safety and speak up about it. If you are able, talk to the person/s concerned, as near as possible to the event. We also encourage you to take opportunities to gently educate others in your community about issues in which you have more knowledge or experience than they do. If you feel unable to do that, talk to or email a friend or a member of the organising team.
In the event of unacceptable behaviour: If you experience members behaving inconsistently with the group expectations, you are invited to tell an organiser. If you do not know the organisers or do not feel comfortable telling us, you may tell another member who can let us know. The organisers will endeavour to resolve the matter quickly and with appropriate consultation. Members behaving unacceptably may be reminded of these group expectations and/or removed from the group. In extreme cases, the appropriate authorities may be informed. If the issue concerns an organiser, that organiser will be asked to stand aside until the matter is resolved. We prefer to support individual and community responsibility for creating a safe and welcoming space for all members.